• Cara Peckham

Divorce and Self-Love

I remember for years during my marriage after having my two children feeling guilty purchasing things for myself. In fact, for a very long time, I didn't purchase a thing for ME. The only thing I spent money on was highlighting my hair every 3 months.

My ex wasn't opposed to me shopping, getting my nails done, or getting massages. In fact, he was very supportive of me taking care of myself. It was a total ME issue. I honestly think I had more fun shopping for the kids. I spent so much time in maternity clothes from 2008-2011 and beyond, (they were so comfortable) that I forgot what looked good on me. I didn't use any skincare products and my make-up was what I had always worn, CoverGirl and maybe Almay once in a while as a little splurge. Truth be told, I felt guilty spending the money on myself. I honestly did not get the concept of loving yourself first so that you can take care of the people you love. Wow, what a concept!

It wasn't until my ex and I separated in 2015 that I realized just how important loving on yourself really is. I became a full-time single mom, who worked full-time as a Teacher and had only one income. It WAS my choice, believe me, I am not crying here, I filed for divorce, and he moved to Boston. I'll save the story for another day, but it only took about 6 months before I was literally running ragged, roots grown out, back pain, my underwear was literally like 15 years old and my wardrobe, well, let's just say, goodwill didn't want what I had. I was long overdue for some serious self-love. The only problem was, I was basically living paycheck to paycheck and didn't have the extra money to spend. I had the right mindset, but my rainy day fund was empty.

So I did what most women are doing nowadays, and started a home-based business. Now it is not for everyone, it really isn't and I strongly suggest that if you don't have the motivation or the drive, you should probably just pick up a second job. However, the home-based business model worked for me, and no matter who rolled their eyes at me for starting "one of those things" I laughed all the way to the bank. Most of the eye-rollers have since started their own home-based businesses or they simply joined me, honestly.

It was that important to me that my kids had what they needed and so did I!

What I didn't plan on, when I decided to sell jewelry during my divorce process, was that not only did it allow me to afford to take care of myself mentally, physically, and spiritually, it also allowed me to regain my passion for helping people. It showed my children that I am capable and can love myself enough to push through the obstacles.

We should never feel guilty loving ourselves enough to nurture our body, mind, and spirit. Time and money should not be an obstacle. We must make our number one priority self-love so that we are mentally and physically prepared to handle relationship issues and divorce. it is a long process, don't let anyone tell you any different. Why not love on yourself while you navigate the uncharted waters. If nothing else, at least, no matter how stressed out you will undoubtedly be at times, you will look and feel your best, empowering you to have a clear perspective and handle things with grace.

For my complete divorce survival guide, everything from personal care items, to clothing, to home organizers, potential ways to earn extra income, mindset, and meditation, yoga, personal fitness, wellness and nutrition, even realtors and apps to help you invest and monitor your spending. You name it, I've got it. If not, I can certainly help you find what you are looking for. Do not put YOU off any longer-Schedule a complimentary call.